Confidence Is For Later. Take Your Swing.

Jeff has been playing golf since before I met him, and Scotty picked up a club the minute he could hold one, which means I have spent a lot of Saturday afternoons watching two people I love chase a small white ball around a course with far more patience than I could ever manage. We can talk about Houston, but his game is all over the place. My cousin Annie, who played Division One golf at Vanderbilt University, nicknamed him Shankopottamus!  

For Jeff and Scotty, confidence on the course did not arrive first. That confidence showed up somewhere around repetition number 1,000, and it kept building from there. For Houston, we may need 5,000 swings. His confidence is a work in progress, but he is fully committed to improving and loves playing with Scotty and Jeff.

“I Got This”

In his book Unf*ck Yourself (sorry for language), author Gary John Bishop’s third assertion is short enough to fit on a sticky note. I got this. I have to tell you that I dislike the trendy phrase, mostly because it’s grammatically incorrect. “I got this” makes me ask, “I got this WHAT?” 

We should say, “I have got this,” or, “I’ve got this.” Also, “You got this” is wrong, too. Let’s honor the queen’s English, shall we? 

I do like the concept, though. YOU HAVE GOT THIS.

While we're at it, why do country music songwriters love double negatives? Don’t nobody need to hear bad grammar, right?

Okay, back to the point.  The words I’ve got this sound simple until you try saying them honestly about a project you have not started. Most writers I talk to on Publishing Pathway Calls cannot say those three words about their own books, not because the books are beyond them, but because they are looking for proof of competence before they have done any of the work that would actually create the competence and CONFIDENCE to keep going.

Confidence Works Backward From How You Think It Works

You do not feel confident and then take action. You take the action, maybe poorly at first, then confidence gathers itself around the evidence you generate by doing the thing. Scotty did not feel confident the first time he stood on a tee box. He hit the ball. He was the king of worm-burners, and he is known for lipping the cup, which frustrates him terribly. He loves the Toby Keith song, “Sh*tty Golfer.” I think the song resonates because Keith laughs at himself while admitting his passion for the sport.

Now, Scotty makes mistakes. He blows up on par 3 holes, hits trees, lips the cup, slices, shanks, you name it. The highlight (or should I saw lowlight) comes from Houston, who once shanked the ball so hard that it soared into the parking lot and dented a car. HIS CAR. What are the odds of that?

Over the years, after hundreds and thousands of strokes, Scotty has built a trust in himself that no pep talk could have directly installed. Houston continues to work on his game. 

Writing a book works exactly the same way. 

The first chapter you write will probably not be your best writing, and that is no reason to stop. That chapter is repetition number one, and repetition number one has never been anybody's best work in any skill worth having.

Saying “I’ve got this” does not mean you already know how to write a publishable manuscript. Saying it means you trust yourself enough to sit down, write badly, revise honestly, trust people who can help you, and keep going until the skill catches up to the intention.

The people who finish their books are rarely the most naturally talented writers in the room. They are the ones who kept swinging long enough to build a swing worth trusting. 

If you have been waiting to feel ready vs. taking swings, I am gently telling you that the feeling comes after the work, not before it. Give it a shot, and let me know what you learn.

Your Next Step

Your next step does not require confidence. All you need is the willingness to start and keep writing. 

Books live forever!

Jody